Dear Alexander McQueen:

You have long been my favorite designer. You always have the most creative, artistic and interesting runway collections. When I talk about fashion to my friends and I start getting all hyper about it and a fine sheen of sweat breaks out on my forehead it's always because I'm talking fervently about you and your genius. There's a reason that several of my online handles are variations of "AlexanderMcQueenismygod."

However, your latest menswear collection left something to be desired. In fact, it left everything to be desired because I desired to see none of it. There is one highlight of the event that I saved for last (but, unfort. they are 4 Men Only and probably a poor fit for my delicate woman feet):


THIS WOMAN IS TOOOOOO SKINNY, and this outfit is only appropriate for an Olympic swimmer:





WHERE ARE THE BUTTOCKS IN THIS PICTURE? This model is so skinny that she has developed the dreaded "thutt" (where your thighs merge straight into your butt). This is the most unattractive skinny hiney ever.





Poor dude. If he stood up really straight would his "boys" start hurting from the strain? Also, Alexander, did you make the male models tuck it in? It's unnerving not to see ANY bulge.





Hi, I am wearing a shiny, fringed corset! It also happens to be bullet-proof and hobo-knife-stab resistant!





I seem to have suffered a fatal, gravity-defying wound. Too bad I wasn't wearing that shiny shingle corset.
:(





The only redeeming feature of the entire collection are these pimpin' shoes. I would wear these in a heartbeat (but not with shiny grey socks. Wait, those aren't socks! Those are MAN TIGHTS!)